Inaugural Post

Hello, dear readers.

Well, so begins the terrifying journey of almost entirely changing my eating habits. Perhaps the most horrifying prospect is giving up my Mountain Dew habit. Embarrassing, I know. I'm addicted to caffeine, but I don't like tea or coffee. So starting tomorrow, I'm banishing soda from my life and will begin taking caffeine pills. Hopefully, I can gradually ease off of those, too, and eventually be free of the corn syrup and caffeine shackles. Right now I've got a ~$2 a day habit. NO GOOD. I also don't like what studies have to say about what soda does for bone density.

All the time I've been overweight, I've been fantasizing about a future, wherein I'm thin, I feel good about my body, and food is no longer such a dominant part of my life. I have a ridiculous but persistent plan for when I'm thin. Buy some fantastic lingerie, and hang out in my apartment all day in it, being a sex bomb (yes, by myself). I'm going to do up a Brigitte Bardot bouffant and smokey eyes and everything. Other components of my fantasy future involve being thin and sexy in London, wearing a lot of tweed suiting, and also finally being able to manifest my unerring (and sometimes daring) fashion sense. Also, learning how to cook would be nice.

Another driving force here is that I think I'll have a very difficult time getting into a serious, long term relationship when I feel that such a big part of my life is uncontrollable and underdeveloped. It's not that I don't think guys will be attracted to me. In fact, I worry that when I'm thin, I'll develop a complex about how Guy X wouldn't have hit on me when I was over weight, and how do I feel about THAT. It's more that I don't feel particularly grown up in that regard, and it's hindering me.

My plan for tonight, to get off on the right foot: make lentil soup for lunch tomorrow, with strawberry and tomato salad, and have chicken au champagne for dinner after work (which is a 12 hour day, SUCK). I'll update with my thoughts on the recipes (and links to them, if they're on the website). Eeek!